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Congratulations of buying your new Hitem Hammer.

I can see that you have taken your Hitem Hammer out of its packaging, you have now voided the warrantee.

Here are some other hammers that you might have liked to have bought.

Would you like a Hammerhead shark? A Ham Sandwich? Hammertime by MC Hammer?

Would you like to buy the exact same Hitem Hammer you have just bought?

Would you like to take a moment to register your Hitem Hammer? You take catch up with other Hitem Hammer users and share pictures and profiles with the Hitem Hammer family.

Please wait whilst your Hitem Hammer loads.

Please create your Hitem e-mail site to access all your Hitem Hammer’s capabilities.

Please enter password.

Thank you, please login to your new account.

Password not recognised.

Password not recognised

Password not recognised.

Please enter new password for Hitem.com.

New Password can not be the same as the old password.

Welcome to your Hitem Hammer website. In just a few moments you can be happily using your hammer.

Here are the favourite songs other members of the Hitem Hammer family listen to when using Hitem Hammers.

Would you like to download Hitem Hammer music?

Choice not available.

Choice not available.

Choice not available.

Please download profile picture to continue to login.

Photo not accessible.

Would you like to view available screwdrivers?

Would you like to view available spanners?

Please wait whilst we download your profile.

Please let us know your phone number?

Please let us know your house number?

Please let us know your wife/partner/mother’s phone number.

Please login again.

Password not recognised.

Password Not recognised

Password Not recognised.

Please enter new password for Hitem.com.

New Password can not be the same as the old password.

Hitem.com is not responsible for any injuries sustained whist using Hitem tools and services.

Please agree to our terms and conditions.

Would you like to upgrade to a better Hitem Hammer?

Please see pictures of happier, healthier, more productive and attractive people using their better Hitem Hammers better than you, more artistically than you, in better definition than you, and with better results.

Would you like to see other features of your Hitem Hammer?

That feature has a small bolt-on cost.

That feature has a small bolt-on cost.

That feature has a small bolt-on cost.

Please note that without these features, your Hitem Hammer is unlikely to perform to its required standards and you will probably never be loved by another human being again.

You are only a few moments away from a lifetime of Hitem Hammer happiness. Just a few more minutes.

Hitem Hammer shares your information with only those business partners that have been identified to improve your flagging lifestyle.

Do you agree to receiving e-mails from our business partners?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

You have 176 new messages.

Just few more seconds;

Hi there, my name is Steve Hitem and I own the Hitem Hammer community. Please be sure to show how much of a well adjusted, literate and economically viable cattle person you are by posting pictures of you using your Hitem Hammer and sharing stories about your new life with Hitem Hammers. (Disclaimer; any pictures/stories showing Hitem products in any way other than agreed in your terms and conditions will result in legal actions. Any non-sharing of any pictures/stories showing Hitem products in any way other than agreed in you terms and conditions will result in legal actions. Please see your agreed terms and conditions. We fucking own you, you pissant)

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